Unpublished letter to The Guardian, 18 December 2024

Dear Editor,

The wrong “lessons” are being drawn from the horrifying murder of Sara Sharif (Guardian 18 December). It is neither home schooling nor social services trying too hard to keep children in their family that are to blame. It is family courts’ obsession with handing children to fathers, even those known to be violent.

The Harm Report by the Ministry of Justice described courts entrenched with “sexism, racism and class bias” – we add disability discrimination.

Our figures confirm this. Since 2017 we have worked with hundreds of mothers fighting to protect their children by stopping unsupervised contact or even residence with abusive fathers. In almost 80% of cases the mothers had suffered domestic violence, often fleeing to a refuge, as Sara’s mother Olga Domin did. Instead of protection, they were accused of “parental alienation” by social workers, CAFCASS (charged with representing children) and judges. The violence of fathers, even convicted rapists, is dismissed to force children into their clutches, often with devastating consequences.

This week we learn of Timotej Borrett, killed by his father during his first unsupervised contact. And we remember Claire Throssell’s two sons murdered by their father 10 years ago during unsupervised contact.

The courts’ systemic preference for fathers, violent or not, upholds men’s traditional power over women and children.  Single mothers are demonised both for having had a relationship with a violent man, and for escaping, and are punished by having their children removed. Punishing her by risking her children’s lives.

In a recent victory of the massive movement of mothers, the Family Justice Council Guidance told judges that “parental alienation … has no evidential basis and is considered a harmful pseudo-science” while “domestic abuse is a criminal offence”. Implementing this Guidance will protect more mothers and children than any inquest.  

Anne Neale, Support Not Separation

Layla Omar, Women Against Rape